Happy Birthday

Though much is taken, much abides; and though

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

– Alfred Tennyson (1809 –1892)

I Could Take

I could take
two leaves
         and give you one.
Would that not be
a kind of perfection?

But I prefer
one leaf
         torn to give you half
              showing

(after these years, simply)
love's complexity in an act,
         the tearing and
              the unique edges —
one leaf (one word) from the two
imperfections that match.


- Hayden Carruth (1921 – 2008)

めがね by Naoko Ogigami

Mir ist bewusst was Freiheit bedeutet

Folge dem Wege geradeaus,

meide die Tiefen des Meeres,

doch hab ich solch Wort hinter mir gelassen.

Der Mond scheinet auf jedem Wege,

wie die in der Dunkelheit wie Diamanten schwimmenden Fische;

heiß wie durch Zufall Mensch - und hier bin ich.

Was hatte ich zu befürchten,

mit was zu kämpfen,

bald ist es Zeit die Lasten zu legen.

Erteile mir noch mehr Kraft,

Kraft zur Liebe.

Mir ist bewusst was Freiheit bedeutet,

mir ist bewusst was Freiheit bedeutet.

I know what Freedom is.

Follow the path straight ahead.

Keep out of the ocean deeps

I have left such words behind me

The Moon shines upon all paths

like Fish who swim like Diamonds in the Dark

Called a human being by chance – so here I am

What did I have to fear?

Against what was I struggling?

It’s time for me to lay down my heavy load.

Give me even more strength,
Strength to love.

I know what Freedom is.

I know what Freedom is.

Poem and its transcription found via here.

Deep words

Stumbled upon these from other bloggers' sites and thought it too lovely to not immortalize on my site as well, especially since I do not typically pick up poetry books and will definitely not come across them on my own. I find most poetry perplexing –– I think I'm too impatient to mull over the words. So I get very excited when poetry readers share gems like these that I can easily decipher :-)

I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.


I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down


into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,


how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,


which is what I have been doing all day.


Tell me, what else should I have done?


Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?


Tell me, what is it you plan to do


with your one wild and precious life?”

– "The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver

(found via Maps & Fragments)

All I have is a voice

To undo the folded lie,

The romantic lie in the brain

Of the sensual man-in-the-street

And the lie of Authority

Whose buildings grope the sky:

There is no such thing as the State

And no one exists alone;

Hunger allows no choice

To the citizen or the police;

We must love one another or die.

– W.H. Auden

(Can't remember where I saw this, but it definitely spoke to the quixotic part of me)

July

Symmetry from Everynone on Vimeo.

I don't find myself having favorites of any one thing but if I did, I believe July could end up as my favorite month out of the year, for reasons too abstract to get into right now. July of 2011, though, is proving quite melancholic. Two great artists whose work I find immeasurably great, Cy Twombly and Lucian Freud, passed on. More importantly, one of the handful of relatives I could conceivably describe as close passed on as well. The news came sudden, as these things are wont to be, and made more poignant for the fact that his death did not afford his loved ones the luxury of time for a proper farewell. Farewells are sad, and farewells without utterances of goodbyes all the more heartbreaking.

I often wonder at our amazing ability to recover from grief. In my darker hours, it seemed to me that life will never quite be the same but once emerged, life somehow always is. I suppose that's the thing about life, isn't it? That it goes on? And if we are to take the smallest token of consolation from that tenet, perhaps it is this –– that for every goodbye, there is a hello, and from death, there is life?

Dear A and family, 節哀順變.

Photography is Easy, Photography is Difficult

Came across one of Paul Graham's essay entitled "Photography is Easy, Photography is Difficult" on Jody Rogac's blog and couldn't resist posting it here as well. Such sagacity.

//

It’s so easy it's ridiculous. It’s so easy that I can’t even begin – I just don’t know where to start. After all, it’s just looking at things. We all do that. It’s simply a way of recording what you see – point the camera at it, and press a button. How hard is that? And what's more, in this digital age, its free - doesn't even cost you the price of film. It’s so simple and basic, it's laughable.

It’s so difficult because it’s everywhere, every place, all the time, even right now. It's the view of this pen in my hand as I write this, it's an image of your hands holding this book, drift your consciousness up and out of this text and see: it's right there, across the room - there... and there. Then it’s gone. You didn’t photograph it, because you didn’t think it was worth it. And now it’s too late, that moment has evaporated. But another one has arrived, instantly. Now. Because life is flowing through and around us, rushing onwards and outwards, in every direction.

But if it's everywhere and all the time, and so easy to make, then what’s of value? which pictures matter? Is it the hard won photograph, knowing, controlled, previsualised? Yes. Or are those contrived, dry and belabored? Sometimes. Is it the offhand snapshot made on a whim. For sure. Or is that just a lucky observation, some random moment caught by chance? Maybe. Is it an intuitive expression of liquid intelligence? Exactly. Or the distillation of years of looking seeing thinking photography. Definitely.

"Life’s single lesson: that there is more accident to it than a man can admit to in a lifetime, and stay sane"
- Thomas Pynchon, V

Ok, so how do I make sense of that never ending flow, the fog that covers life here and now. How do I see through that, how do I cross that boundary? Do I walk down the street and make pictures of strangers, do I make a drama-tableaux with my friends, do I only photograph my beloved, my family, myself? Or maybe I should just photograph the land, the rocks and trees – they don't move or complain or push back. The old houses? The new houses? Do I go to a war zone on the other side of the world, or just to the corner store, or not leave my room at all?

Yes and yes and yes. That's the choice you are spoiled for, but just don't let it stop you. Be aware of it, but don't get stuck – relax, it’s everything and everywhere. You will find it, and it will find you, just start, somehow, anyhow, but: start.

Okay, but shouldn’t I have a clear coherent theme, surely I have to know what I’m doing first? That would be nice, but I doubt Robert Frank knew what it all meant when he started, or for that matter Cindy Sherman or Robert Mapplethorpe or Atget or... so you shouldn’t expect it. The more preplanned it is the less room for surprise, for the world to talk back, for the idea to find itself, allowing ambivalence and ambiguity to seep in, and sometimes those are more important than certainty and clarity. The work often says more than the artist knows.

Ok, but my photography doesn't always fit into neat, coherent series, so maybe I need to roll freeform around this world, unfettered, able to photograph whatever and whenever: the sky, my feet, the coffee in my cup, the flowers I just noticed, my friends and lovers, and, because it's all my life, surely it will make sense? Perhaps. Sometimes that works, sometimes it’s indulgent, but really it’s your choice, because you are also free to not make 'sense'.

"so finally even this story is absurd, which is an important part of the point, if any, since that it should have none whatsoever seems part of the point too"
- Malcolm Lowry, Ghostkeeper.

Ok, so I do need time to think about this. To allow myself that freedom for a short time. A couple of years. Maybe I won't find my answer, but I will be around others who understand this question, who have reached a similar point. Maybe I’ll start on the wrong road, or for the wrong reasons – because I liked cameras, because I thought photography was an easy option, but if I’m forced to try, then perhaps I’ll stumble on some little thing, that makes a piece of sense to me, or simply just feels right. If I concentrate on that, then maybe it grows, and in its modest, ineffable way, begins to matter. Like photographing Arab-Americans in the USA as human beings with lives and hopes and families and feelings, straight, gay, young, old, with all the humanity that Hollywood never grants them. Or the black community of New Haven, doing inexplicable joyous, ridiculous theatrical-charades that explode my preconceptions into a thousand pieces. Or funny-disturbing-sad echoes of a snapshot of my old boyfriend. Or the anonymous suburban landscape of upstate in a way that defies the spectacular images we're addicted to. Or... how women use our bodies to display who we believe we should be, Or...

"A Novel? No, I don't have the endurance any more. To write a novel, you have to be like Atlas, holding up the whole world on your shoulders, and supporting it there for months and years, while its affairs work themselves out..."
- J. M. Coetzee, Diary of a Bad Year.

And hopefully I will carry on, and develop it, because it is worthwhile. Carry on because it matters when other things don't seem to matter so much: the money job, the editorial assignment, the fashion shoot. Then one day it will be complete enough to believe it is finished. Made. Existing. Done. And in its own way: a contribution, and all that effort and frustration and time and money will fall away. It was worth it, because it is something real, that didn't exist before you made it exist: a sentient work of art and power and sensitivity, that speaks of this world and your fellow human beings place within it. Isn't that beautiful?

//

Text for Yale MFA graduation book, February 2009.

So it looks like cicak hasn't been cheeky so much as cicak has been absent. To be truthful, I just didn't feel like I have anything to add to blogland. Some days, I think that pretty much all there is to say is already said by someone somewhere sometime. And my take on that is, why add to it unless I really feel the need to. Right?

Anyhoo, popping back in here just to say hi, hope everybody's doing well and to let you know that I continue to update links I ♥. I know I keep calling it blogland, but really, there are way more sites out there than can be defined. I love visiting some of them for the visual pleasure, others for the eye-opening reads, and yet others for some vague sense of company. Whatever you want to call the sites on the list (intentionally left un-categorized), they've never failed to serve me as a source of inspiration. I hope you find them the same too.

Hi!

Wow. I didn't think it was possible to stay away from my techie alter-ego for that long. It was a sort of packed end-of-July, in terms of head space, that is :-) A couple of deaths to deal with, a birthday, a missed deadline, ill-health and an assortment of other pesky things nagging away. These eat up not only the hours of the day, they also tire me out, body, mind and soul (clichéd but true!).

However, at the end of the day, it's good to remind oneself that life is about keeping forward. It's alright to stop for air, but once you start thinking you're comfortable and that it's ok to stop at where you are, it can get tricky. A good quote that jolted me up today was uttered by John Maeda, the president of the art and design program in Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) who used to be a professor at MIT (yup! that one). He tweeted, "Being well is much more than, well, just being."

So basically, life is more than just surviving the daily trials. Simple, right? Hmph, if only. Anyhow, for some poignant (IMHO) reflection on life, check out this article about artist Song Dong's mother's life in the New York Times.

I hope I can swing back into a more regular posting schedule.

As last week headed to a close, it got quite dismal. Not only was the dreaded haze back in full force -- wrapping our little part of earth in a horrendously polluted atmosphere, a young man about to be married to his girlfriend (who is pregnant with their two-month-old) was found dead under very suspicious circumstances and in a very politically/racially charged climate.

I can't quite explain it but I find myself grieving the loss of this total stranger. I suppose it's not unlike how total strangers mourn the death of someone they can identify with, or whose death feels totally unnecessary and of such tragic nature.

Anyway, I should be able to get myself back into shape for a post before the week's out. In the meantime, let me leave you with this. A solar eclipse -- the longest in the 21st century -- will happen sometime on the 22nd. If you can figure out when it occurs at your time zone (I haven't explored this site which seems to be able to tell you), remember to check it out. It doesn't happen everyday. And life is definitely too short not to stop and smell the roses (or witness a solar eclipse)...

No vida, no loca

I don't know this dude, but whoa, it's like he pulled the thoughts out of my head. But when it's all said and done, I'll be damned if I weren't still missing the city like the proverbial phantom limb, though. 

A gothic story, me fave!

So totally up my alley! White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi. 

BTW, book trailers? Really? Book trailers??? Although, I have to admit, it did catch my attention.

A Quote After My Own Heart

Can't resist posting this.

Homelessness

An illuminating read on homelessness. I've often wondered about the state of homelessness and if it's as easy a state to fall in as I fear it is. After all, not everything is in our control all the time, is it? I remember, on one of the numerous occasions that we walked past men sleeping in cardboard tents on the sidewalk, a co-worker exclaimed that she will never allow herself to reach that level of desperation. It was said with such force that it's left me pondering ever since -- is determination all it takes?

Tehching Hsieh

A friend alerted me to an article in the NY Times of Tehching Hsieh, a performance artist whose work is being displayed by MoMA. I have not known of him prior to this but I find his work extremely remarkable because he utilizes himself and his life with such intensity and in so unequivocal a manner. I have the highest regards for that kind of immersion, I find it's something worth aspiring to.

This is my favorite quote from him in the article: "Living is nothing but consuming time until you die" -- a tenet the existentialist in me had never let go of, probably to my very own detriment.

Photo by Tehching Hsieh, from his work, "Cage Piece".

Art of the Lost Words

My love for words and my love for art is surpassed only by my love for the antiquated. So when I see an exhibit entitled "The Art of Lost Words", I am literally shaking in my seat with excitement. Text/Gallery in London is exhibiting 47 works by artists, illustrators and designers that are inspired by the forgotten words. The exhibition ends March 9th, after which the works will be sold online with proceeds going to UK's National Literary Trust. For those of us who don't get to see the exhibit in person, it's a real treat that we get a peek through their online site - yippee!

They all look fantastic, but my faves are "Murklins" by Audrey Niffenegger (I'm a big fan of hers!), "Habroneme" by Johnson Banks and "Kexy" by Rama (above). Needless to say, I know n-o-n-e of the words, and am amazed how one would even begin to find out about them. For most words, it'd be difficult to start dropping them in daily conversations (wonder if that's how they became forgotten to begin with) but I have a feeling that I will be using inergetical a lot :-)

Love the Fool

This is too good not to pass around. It's for those of us who are bumbling through life, trying to figure out our place in it. And especially for those like me, who is letting the tyrant win with every passing breath.

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

 -- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

via Cup of Jo via Creature Comforts; image from lilorain at Flickr.

India

A friend and her brother flew from Brooklyn to Mumbai to attend a wedding, and while I was uncontrollably jealous (India's been on my travel-to list since F-O-R-E-V-E-R!), I was also thankful, for their trip inspired a hilarious write-up illustrating the kind of attitude you have to be prepared to adopt.

They have generously allowed me to share it here (woo-hoo!), so here it is!

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Vendor Smackdown: Brooklyn Style!

I had a great time while in India (for the most part) having been there for three weeks while visiting seven or so different cities. But the one thing I could have definitely done without was the "bargaining" that goes on with each transaction. You can't get around it but you can be prepared (while maybe having a little fun). Now if you have a local guide or are a local and speak the language, then most of this need not apply. For the rest of us, please read on.

So the next time you are in India and the vendors just won't take no for an answer, try one of these methods.

"40 Nays, 40 Naughts"
For some vendors, it seems that hearing the term "No" gives them a license to badger. You think it doesn't matter how many times you say it, they will just come back stronger than the tap water you drank from the side of the road. But I decided to put it to the test. One vendor approached me and I saw that look in his eye, thinking to himself that he's gonna eat well tonight after he reels in this guppy. He started with trying to sell me some item (I think it was postcards) and I politely said no. But he insisted that I needed it and so persisted in trying to sell me his wares. Again, I said no thanks but to no avail. At that point I just continued saying "No" until he stopped.

It went something a little like this:

Vendor: You really need some [postcards]…very cheap

Me: No No No No No No No

Vendor: 120 Rupees for a pack of 12

Me: No No No No No No No No (they should be 5 rupees per postcard, btw)

Vendor: Here, just hold these in your hand

Me: No No No No No No No

Vendor: OK OK Uncle

The vendor slinks away.

"Create a Market"
So...you have to take that auto-rickshaw across town to get to the next monument, fort or tomb. No problem. "Driver, will you turn on your meter?" "No, it's broken" "Of course it is…how much to go the 2.5 km to Connaught Place?" After a momentary glance "150 rupees!!!" Before you open your money belt and make this guys' week, try asking the next driver. And then the next and then the next (rickshaw drivers tend to congregate at taxi-stands). 

When you ask the next guy, one of three things will happen: 1) They will say 150 INR; 2) They will say 200 INR; 3) They will say 100 INR. If they say the first, then ask the next driver until you get a different quote. If they go higher, mention that the driver you just asked said 150 and that you might as well go back. What can they offer. If they go lower, go back to the first driver and mention you got a quote of 100, what can you do for me? This worked for me a couple times whilst in the cities. 

But the drawbacks are that it takes time to build this market (and time is so precious) and most people know each other and they set rates ahead of time. They are on their game and they have PhDs in the science of shim-shamming. Since you can't hate the player, you have to attack the game and flip it in your favor. A taxi-stand full of rickshaw drivers that's divided cannot stand!

"The Low-Ball Insult"
So it turns out that when you get a driver (taxi, tour guide, auto-rickshaw), some get kick-backs for the number of tourists they can bring to shops selling souvenirs. Be wary if you happen to get a flat tire outside of the Sari Emporium and the driver just happens to know all the staff inside. Usually it's harmless as they try a light to medium sell and don't apply that much pressure to buy. But if you are on a mission to see as many temples and tombs in a day, then it can be time consuming. And so you have twenty minutes to get to Hamayun's Tomb and the vendors are swarming and you need to get the heck out of there…No problem. Just quote a price so low they will just throw you out of the store. 

I remember we were in Fort Cochin and, to my surprise, between the Chinese Fishnet boats and Mantancherry Palace, we just had to stop at this shop that was 'to die for'. The fiendishly clever thing about this store was that it had an amazing view from the rooftop (five flights up) which looked out on all of Cochin (very nice). But when it was time to leave, you had to walk down the five flights which were full of vendors that couldn't wait for you to descend the steps. I felt like Bruce Lee in the "Game of Death" trying to get out of that place. I came to this floor where the guy was selling rugs (not bad) but I wasn't going to lug that stuff around while backpacking. He said something like they were pure silk, the rugs last for generations, they change colors and on and on and on. OK OK , I get it…I can fly outta here on these magic rugs. So how much? He said "for you, my friend, $175" Here we go again. I looked him square in the eye and said to him, "If I wanted to pay that amount or even less, I would just go to Chinatown in NY. The reason why a bought a ticket to India is so that I wouldn't have to pay NY prices. I am fully aware of what wage earners make here and the cost to produce a rug like this in India is nowhere near the amount you are quoting. I will offer you $25…take it or leave it". Needless to say the vendor didn't appreciate my lessons in world purchasing power and asked me to vacate the premises. But that worked for me…either I would get an insane deal or they would be instantly disinterested, saving me time and sanity.


"Locals Know Best"
So, you're in a crowded area and vendors are swarming you like killer bees. Now you may be interested in buying some of their items like the inflatable rubber thingy or some sandalwood statue. But you really don't know how much it should cost. And if you are not from around those parts, you better believe the price will be jacked up beyond belief. So how do you figure out how many rupees to drop…no problem. Just ask the local right next to you. Let's say you approach a vendor and see a candle holder that catches your eye. But to your amazement, there is no price tag on the item. And so you ask "How much?" and you swear you see $ signs in their eyes and registers ringing in the background as they quote some inflated price. Instead of trying to haggle, turn to the person off to the side who's a local bystander and ask "Would you pay X for this candle-holder?" If they recoil in shock then you know it's way too much. Then ask the local how much would they actually pay. Eventually you should be able to zero in on a reasonable price.


"Show me the Money"
"It doesn't cost anything to look". I heard this from vendors in every state that I went to. What they don't realize is that it takes up so much of your time, time that could have been spent looking for a better hotel to stay at. And so it should not be unreasonable to think that if they are going to waste my time, then I should some how be compensated for it. A couple times I have actually asked vendors that wanted to bring me to a "special" store to pay me first. I usually have to repeat it because they'll have a look of disbelief. If they want me to take another step in their direction, they should pay me and then I'll go. Something nominal like 10 or 20 rupees usually does the trick and they leave you alone. But one vendor did call my bluff. I was outside the Gateway of India taking pics and one vendor actually gave me 20 INR. I didn't know what to do and was thrown off my game for a split-second. I promptly gave the money back to him and smiled. I don't think either one of us came out ahead and so that was a definite draw. Warning: Make sure to have a follow-up if and when you actually get paid.


"Don't Blink"
I don't know if it were the fact that I was worn down mentally or if my body was lacking nutrients from all the veg-only meals, but at some point when confronted by vendors I would just stare and not say a word. They would talk and talk and talk about their items, their families, how it doesn't cost anything to look, how buying their stuff is a pittance for us, how Obama should win. You name it. But I would keep mum and stare. Eventually they would run out of steam and move on. Passive but effective especially when trying to save energy for climbing the million steps to get to the top of Elephanta Caves.


"Drop Price with Every Counteroffer"
I tried to get funky a couple of times while managing my vendor relations. This method helps with buying something you really want but don't want to spend the time to beg the price down. If, let's say, the vendor quotes a price of 1500 rupees for that Kashmir scarf (pure silk, mind you) and you think it's worth 750 rupees then start off with that. The vendor will jump back in horror as if you just put a lance through their abdomen. But they recover quick and say 1450 rupees (Pure silk, pure silk! Just feel it!) Now you can see where this is going and the amount of time this will take. You should then say "725 rupees". "What?", they shout. "How about 1300 rupees? Final offer. Just take it from my sight!" Then you say "650 rupees!!" Check and mate! Now if the guy is quick on the uptake, he will realize you aren't messing around and will either settle for your 750 or just throw you out.


"Go See the Man"
So you get to the point of the trip where you need to get those souvenirs for family and friends back home and you're dreading the marathon that will be haggling with vendors. So what to do if you don't feel like taking out a home equity loan to pay for some overpriced stuff…no problem. Go see "The Man". Any government-run store should have the prices clearly displayed and typically there's no bargaining to be had. The price might be a tad higher than what it should cost (like buying a soda at the airport) but at least you know the cost is in the same hemisphere. Also, when vendors take you to those "special shops", ask them if it is government or state run. That usually stops them in their tracks. That way you avoid 500 rupee camel rides (for each person; so 1,000 rupees total!) for what should only cost a total of 50 rupees. Unfortunately that's a true story. Vendors definitely won that round.


"Lost in Translation"
When traveling to a foreign land, a good guide book is one of the essentials. Naturally I didn't bring one but luckily my sister did. We had a copy of Lonely Planet: South India and we had it on us at all times. There will be times when vendors will speak perfect English but when you tell them to "hit the road", they will have a puzzled look on their face. No problem. Just point to the good book…towards the back of mine, they translated a number of commonly used expressions into Hindi and other dialects. Just point and ask them to read the lines that say "No thank you", "I have no money" or "You're too close, man!" I tried this in Goa and I started by reading the sentence "Leave me alone" and he said that wasn't his native tongue. Too bad for him LP had several dialects and I had him find his language and read the exact same line. He grinned and then promptly left. Message received.

My last piece of advice that I would give is to remain sympathetic. You must be mindful of the fact that this is a societal norm and that due to the disparity in global wages, paying these "outlandish" prices won't bankrupt you.

I, on the other hand, have studies economics and I will not be moved by such an argument. I will forever be laying the SMACKDOWN!!! (wa-pish)

Hope you had fun reading. You're a trooper if you made it this far. Pass on if you feel it will help some unsuspecting mark.

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The beautiful -- but tragically bombed by terrorists in Nov 2008 -- Taj Mahal Palace image courtesy of robbie1226.

First Language

How many of you out there agree with this definition of "First Language" from the site, SayJack.com?

"Your first language is the language you did no go through formal education to acquire, and it is usually the primary language you are using now. Notice that it may be different from your parents' first languages."

I'm having trouble with it because it's not holding true for me. My primary language, the language I'm most comfortable expressing myself in, for better or worse, is still English. And this is most apparent in the form of writing. There is case to be argued if we are referring to verbal skills, however. 

In my opinion, I express myself most easily when I can mix and match my words from the different cultures I grew up around, along with the help of hand gestures. Anyway, food for thought...

Neighbors

I thought I was the only one all weird about making connections with neighbours, turns out I'm more normal that I think :-D

Read about Carl Tashian's encounter with his neighbors from his blog here.

Encouragement

Hello again. A friend's visit provided an opportunity to be away from my digital couplings and I can't say it wasn't welcomed ;-)

This is late notice but I had to post about it. Even if you can't make a submission, perhaps you might find much-needed good cheer (the assumption is based solely from recent news of tumultuous times) by reading the ones already submitted. Booooooom and Design for Mankind are collaborating on a project entitled "Encouragement". 

Anyone can send in kind words (until Friday 5th) and I just submitted mine after having lunch with a friend who never fails to amaze me with her devotion to her family and loved ones. What's more moving about her story is that she is obviously not a saint but that she tries so hard to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend and as good a person as she can be.

If you need a dose of "feel good"-ness, reading the submissions might help.